can’t stand the heat

I can’t stand the heat, so I will stay out of the kitchen

Finally, relief from a scorcher of a summer! Usually, we’ll get fast food and pretend it’s nutritional. It only makes me hungrier, and I will gravitate to candy. However, there is nothing like breaking a porcelain cap, while chewing Milk Duds. It encouraged me to rethink our daily menu.

The days spent outside of the kitchen inspired me to scribble what I term “retirement rap”. Here goes, and let’s hope I don’t embarrass the family:

You say we should sup on cooked veggies, baby,
and nosh on some fruit.
You ask me where all the grub is, lady,
and I say don’t be such a brute.

I can’t stand the heat now, honey,
so I gotta stay out of the kitchen.
It’s too hot to think of fryin vittles,
but I can be yo sex kitten.

You told me to put my apron on
and pick up the ladle
I blubbered the steam from the boiling pot
would melt my nylon girdle.

I can’t stand the heat now, honey,
so I gotta stay out of the kitchen.
It’s too hot to think of fryin vittles,
but I can be yo sex kitten.

When I got take-away from the hamburger stand,
you whined all day and night.
You said, Yo, mama, don’t you know how to cook?
I grumbled, it’s the stove I don’t wanna light.

I can’t stand the heat now, honey,
so I gotta stay out of the kitchen.
It’s too hot to think of fryin vittles,
but I can be yo sex kitten.